Re: Fat Shaming Week & my own personal struggle.

I wasn’t going to post about this as I try to keep this blog about fashion, however some things need to be spoken about.

I don’t even know where to start with this one, because I am so appalled that humans can be so blatantly cruel to each other. I almost couldn’t believe that “fat shaming week” was a thing, then I remembered the boys who used to follow me home from school hitting me with pieces of wood, the girls who would grab handfuls of my hair when I walked past them, teachers turning a blind eye to other kids calling me a “fat little cunt” as I walked into the room and then punishing me when I retaliated. Fat shaming doesn’t need a week. I have been fat shamed by strangers, family and friends for all of my life. I have always been the “fat friend” who was always there like a human punching bag when somebody needed a pick me up. I’m sorry to sound very woe is me, but those were my teenage years! For years I contemplated killing myself, utterly hating the person who I saw in the mirror every time I looked into it. I would sit on the bus to school and plan my own funeral, I would even picture it in my mind. And you know, this is all down to OTHER people. This wasn’t me bullying myself, holding penknives to my own throat, sending nasty hate messages to myself – this was other human beings who never had the RIGHT to impact my life in the way that they did. They broke me..and for what reason? Because I carried more weight? Because I was a few dress sizes bigger than them and listened to different music? I’ll never ever understand why people treat me the way that they did, and I’ll never ever forgive them for it.

I was so low..and then out of nowhere, I found a website called Tumblr which changed my life. There was girls and boys on there that challenged the “norm” and said that all bodies are beautiful regardless of shape, size, gender, age, background or lifestyle and I was hooked. And slowly, I stripped away years and years of scar tissue and baggage that I carried around with me and I became one of those girls. I became an inspiration to others, receiving constant emails and messages saying I’d helped changed their lives and how glad they were to find me and it felt amazing. I started to truly love and respect myself for the first time in my life. I stopped wearing black shapeless clothing, I began experimenting with clothes – the colours, cuts and styles which I’d never even dreamed of wearing before! Fashion and clothing soon became my armor and a way of expressing myself – after years of wanting to be invisible I FINALLY wanted people to look at me and notice me, and why shouldn’t they?

 

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I am a beautiful, young, passionate, kind and happy 22 year old woman with the world at her feet and nothing to be ashamed of. So what if I have a big belly, chunky arms and more than one chin? I’m gorgeous, and if i was a size 6 or a size 60 I would still be gorgeous. I still get so many body snarking comments from people online, strangers on the street and nights out but nobody can destroy this wall of confidence which I have build around myself.

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(Dress is from Primark which I altered)

I’d like to address some of the more disgusting Fat Shaming Week comments I saw online.

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Lets be honest, Fat Shaming Week isn’t aimed at men is it? It was created by men to get hits on a website. But to set the record straight – I’m extremely attracted to fat men. Preferably with beards. Yum.

 

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Who are you to say that larger people don’t eat right or work out? I certainly don’t eat crap food constantly. Me and my fiancee actually eat really well.
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Honey, I’m a size 20 and a H cup. I know people who are a size 20 and a B cup. Breast size isn’t always linked to weight.

 

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Never had a shortage of men wanting to take me on dates – happily engaged and I have an incredibly loving famil

 

y ta!

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Not everybody lives a completely 100% healthy life. What about smokers, drinkers, drug takers? I know slim people who eat 10 x worse than me and don’t move off their sofa.

I did see some examples of decent human beings!

 

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Unfortunately not EVERYBODY is beautiful. Those who body police and bully others are just UGLY.

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I loved this lady’s message.

There was so many tweets/comments online that I overlooked a lot of them! I was shocked by how many women were making cruel comments about other women – surely we should come together in the face of bullying? Obviously some women don’t feel this way and I pity them. Fat shaming to me is despicable, as is any body snarking! If anybody has been upset or affected by Fat Shaming Week, contact me and we can chat!

My new coat…and my hassle with Simply Be!!

Hi All!

I decided that considering the weather is getting on the chillier side, that it was time to invest in a new coat! This however, is generally easier said than done. I attempted to do this last year and couldn’t find a single thing I liked in a size that was suitable (I was avoiding wool last year too much made it super difficult). This resulted in me being stuck with a thin parka and layers of un-feminine ugly layers of my boyfriends hoodies. Not a good look!!

This year, I was back with a vengeance and I was getting a coat! I checked all the ports of call (ASOS, New look Inspire etc..) and found nothing I liked, until I popped into my local Simply Be. I totally fell for a biker style longline zip coat which if I’m honest is nothing like I would usually go for but it caught my eye! The coat was £85 which for me is a bit hefty but I thought I might get a little bit off it and then that would make it acceptable to buy! Plus, the coat is of amazingly high quality, super soft and incredibly warm – plus I well and truly loved it. The coat I feel is super flattering to my height and frame and fits in with my “style”.

I tried the coat on in both Black –

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And in Wine –

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And I genuinely couldn’t decide between the two. It was the classic bold vs wear-ability. IMG_1271

 

I finally decided on the black to be “safe” and took my purchase to the tills. I saw they were offering 10% off to students and so I passed them my student card which they declined. They told me it had to be NUS even though the card has “NUS” on it. They’re clearly thinking about NUS Extra – which really should of been clearly stated. ANYWAY. She said she could set an account up for me and get 10% off my first order. I told her however that I already had an account (unused but I still had one) to which she replied that she couldn’t find my account anywhere. SO, I spent ten minutes with her to set the account up only for her to find my other account which I’d told her was there in the first place! So, she refused the discount and told me I should buy it online and get the 10% off your first order deal. I decided to do this and left the shop empty handed and feeling like i’d wasted the best part of an hour.

I immediately grabbed my laptop when I returned home and looked for the coat. I searched every single inch of that website and NOTHING. I was pretty gutted! I decided to write to them via their Facebook page and a few days later they replied that the coat was actually online but hidden. I found the coat here. The coat had been discounted to £68.50, but was still in their shop at £85!!! I was SO glad that I didn’t buy the coat a few days before as I would of been down by £16.50!

As the black coat online wasn’t in the size I wanted (they had an 18 which fit me but I like a bit of room in my coats for layers!) I returned to the shop and asked why their weren’t discounted and could I buy a black coat in a size 20 at discount rate. She told me because she couldn’t find it on the system she couldn’t honour the discount, even though I gave her the item number AND showed her the response from Simply Be customer services and the page on their website. This annoyed me greatly. It seems like Simply Be doesn’t communicate from their website store to their retail stores – there’s always complaints on their page about prices being wrong!

SO! I returned home and bought the coat in Wine in a size 20, and with my first order discount it came to £61.50! Which saved me £23.50! I do admit I love my coat, but the whole mix up has left a sour taste in my mouth. As did the money going from my bank a few days later rather than instantly which made me think I had more money than I did! That was a nice shock..

I do applaud Simply Be on being a place for women of all sizes to buy clothes, but I definitely think they exploit this by charging lucrative prices for their clothes. £25 for a JERSEY tube skirt…are you kidding me? Lower your prices, sort your customer services out and COMMUNICATE.

I never rant on here but they well and truly peed me off!

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Atleast I finally got my coat which I love! (worn here with an ASOS curve dress from their sale!)